I don’t do shorts


We seem to be experiencing a rare thing in England. A prolonged spell of hot and sunny weather. Fabulous weather. But the English aren’t very good at heat. We get clammy and sticky and irritable and flop about puffing our overly red cheeks and sweating. A lot. Or is that just me? It’s the sort of weather that calls for summer clothes. But, we live in a body-shaming society. Just today a Playboy model has been sentenced in an LA court for publishing photos of someone she’d seen in her gym and deemed not up to the mark. The problem with this type of behaviour is that it makes very real the fear that anyone with a less-than-perfect physique has. That is the idea that someone is watching you and making judgements about your appearance. Because, it turns out, they are. And not only that they’re filming it and photographing it and putting it online. Not so paranoid now then are we?

But do you know what? Live is short. Sometimes far too so, to be worrying about the shallowness of what other people think. So, I cut down a pair of old jersey trousers and made them into shorts. I don’t do shorts. Ever. Even when I’m cycling. But I love my new creations. And I don’t care about what I look like in them. It’s hot, I’m English and even if I had perfect pins I’d still look hot and sweaty, so what the hell! Come on summer and body shamers – I’m ready for you!

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